I’m increasingly confused and angered by the stereotyping of people who are overweight. There seems to be an attitude of overweight = no control = failure which just drives me nuts. Apparently overweight people are all lacking in some part of humanity which makes them eat more and exercise less than “normal” people.
There’s a sort of inherent selfishness that is felt about people who overeat, and nobody ever looks at the backstory, nobody ever asks the question “why”? People assume that they know, “fat people are fat because they eat too many burgers and cakes” or “Fat people are fat because they have no self-control” and this is a massive assumption to make.
To put the shoe on the other foot: “thin people are thin because they’re too poor to afford proper food” or perhaps “thin people are thin because they care more about what other people think of them than they should.” As you can see, it’s totally illogical.
In days of old, being overweight was a sign of plenty, that you were rich and could afford the best things in life, being thin was a sign of being poor and undernourished. Fat women were considered healthy and buxom, artists wanted the botticelli babe to paint because curves are more interesting (or perhaps easier) than getting the ribcage showing through the skin just right.
Nowadays though, curves are looked down upon, women are made to feel less than women, unattractive and wrong if they are carrying more pounds than is considered healthy. Men too, don’t get me wrong, although I only have the female perspective.
Society has taught overweight women that they should feel ashamed of their weakness, they are sneered at if they dare to enjoy a treat in public, I’ve even experienced being told by another (skinny) woman, that perhaps I wouldn’t be so obese if I didn’t eat cakes. This was while I was sitting on a park bench, enjoying a monthly treat that I allowed myself as a reward for weigtloss! It’s no wonder that fat people feel the need to hide in their homes!
Why do people feel that they have the right to comment on another persons size? I’ve never dreamed of going up to a painfully thin person and advising them to eat more bacon! It’s rude, but also it doesn’t take into account anything other than their immediate appearance. In the same way I would never publically humiliate someone by advising them that their clothing choice makes it look as though they got dressed in the dark, 3 days ago!
My point is judgement, how can you possibly think that you know enough about me to make a personal comment about my appearance? You have no more right to judge me based on a perception, than I have to reply that you are clearly a selfish, rude and arrogant wizened old hag because you have made that comment.
There may be an entire psyche behind the weight gain, it may be a coping mechanism for something else entirely and by drawing attention to it you’ve just completely derailed a personal recovery that is in progress.
My question is why? Why does everyone have to be healthy and slim and gorgeous? Why can’t society be diverse enough to encompass people who have no problem with their weight? I have been “clinically obese” for the majority of my adult life and for the mostpart I’ve been very happy. I haven’t spent my time at home, lonely and unloved, I have tons of friends and family who love me just the way I am, I’m excellently fit with a good stamina level, I’ve never let my weight stop me from achieving anything I’ve wanted to do. I don’t think people should be lambasted into doing anything they don’t want to by people who have no idea what’s going on in their lives. Why does everyone have to be perfect?
I direct you to Single Dad Laughing: A disease called Perfection
Read that and then tell me that you have any right to judge!